Even couples who agree it’s time to end the marriage face a bumpy emotional road when it comes to splitting up their shared life. Fortunately, there are ways to help smooth out the process of divorce and take care of business without holding a permanent grudge, according to a recent column in The Huffington Post.
First, you need to be honest about your needs and wants. Make a clear list of your financial needs, which shared assets you want or need, and anything else that affects your divorce, such as your desires for custody or visitation. Share this list with an experienced divorce attorney before sharing it with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. While you cannot control their response, you can prevent misunderstandings that may lead to hurt feelings ‘“and unfair results”’ by stating clearly what you want up front.
Next, don’t tell your future ex-spouse they are to blame for the breakup of your marriage. If specific actions by them pushed you to file for divorce, share these with your attorney. Do not, however, dwell on your soon-to-be ex-spouse’s faults, either when talking to your spouse or to your family or friends. Instead, focus on achieving an equitable split in which you get what you need to support yourself and/or your children, if applicable.